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Post by Haven on Oct 18, 2009 21:06:21 GMT -5
I like it! I'm not too good at art critique, so I'll just say the color palette would be a bit darker in this particular story (but that's just a sample scene there). It's fun because it's both cartoony and yet the details around his eyes and nose hint at a bit more realism.
So yeah, looks good to me.
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Post by Tom on Oct 19, 2009 11:40:55 GMT -5
I also added this to our DeviantArt. I just liked it that much.Still working on colours though. Next image will have some darker colours and such, but that'll have to wait 'till tomorrow.
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Post by Haven on Oct 20, 2009 21:05:06 GMT -5
I also added this to our DeviantArt. I just liked it that much.Justifiably so! Sorry I haven't started drafting a script yet or anything--I'm kind of mired in midterms at the moment :(
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Post by Tom on Oct 21, 2009 14:27:42 GMT -5
Art Evolution! I'll be using colours of that sort, with textures as such. This is how I envision the AI and I'll be drawing a full-body shot as my next task. For now, however, I must go kill some witches and tanks.
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Post by Blackmoon on Oct 21, 2009 18:22:43 GMT -5
Oh, now THAT, I like.
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Post by Tom on Oct 23, 2009 10:51:00 GMT -5
New stuff. Not happy about the smoke effects on the second one. At least I'll do it right once you start posting up the script.
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Post by Haven on Oct 25, 2009 0:43:42 GMT -5
So here's what I have in mind for the cast: if any of them sound too undrawable (or, especially, like they'd be a pain in the ass to draw repeatedly) let me know and I can modify or replace them. Except for Vy and Burst, each carries the New Edge insignia somewhere on their clothing or effects; it's a circular bronze emblem with a cliff with a sun rising over it (a fairly stylized and optimistic looking little picture). Jora Species: Epacian (raptorhorse!) Role: Expedition Leader, Security Description: You already have a good idea of the species traits so--Jora has green scales, steel armor, and a sword in a scabbard at her side. Both of the latter are a little rusty but still functional. Generally determined facial expression, a small but distinctive scar on one cheek. Also, a backpack. Ankhiale Species: Thermodynasticub (I need to come up with a better name x.x ) Role: Scout Description: Covered in orange fur, with four limbs--each is basically a bear's arm, ending in claws, except slightly longer and thinner (so that he could, conceivably, lope rapidly across some plains and pounce, as his distant forebears were wont to do). The rest of his body is an oval-shaped torso, usually supported by three arms at a time (he can stand on two or even one, but it's kind of awkward). At one end is a black nub (sort of like this kind of security camera), which is effectively its "eyes". In the middle of its torso is a large, round mouth. Wearing only a brown leather vest-like garment--for no other reason than to have pockets, which are neat. (If you can make him look A) like a cute critter and B) capable of emoting well with this set of features, that's what's important. But if this set of features impedes that, maybe adding a feature analogous to eyes on his "face" would help; two ears in the position where eyes would be relative to the mouth. And they could move around a bit to show various emotions, or stick straight up for surprise) Zetramora Species: Fourweaver Role: Weave specialist Description: A shiny, sky-blue crystalline creature. His head is an octahedron, mostly undifferentiated except for round pools of light that serve as eyes, and a pair of antenna. The base of his head expands from the point on the end to lead to a smaller, similar polygon for a neck, then a segmented, long octahedron. He has hundreds of limbs, each wispy-thin, but they all generally wrap into each other to form eight solid, blockly legs; when he needs to do something dextrous he turns them into small manipulators. He's standing more-or-less upright and wears a robe hanging from his shoulders, with intricate geometrical patterning throughout. (If this is too much of a pain: probably going to kill this guy off first) Griem Species: Living Quicksilver Role: Medical specialist Description: A silver, flowing creature. It mimics whoever it's standing next to, with a fairly high degree of cohesion, though as the story goes on and it feels more and more tense, it gets more and more melty. Carries a lot of equipment inside its body, but always manages to keep traces of itself off it; generally carrying a first-aid kit, with the New Edge emblem on it, at the ready constantly, "just in case". (Violet)(Red)(Green) (aka Vy) Species: Auraleic Role: Decryption/Analysis (light-based), Light source Description: A living mini-aurora that shifts in patterns of the three colors that make up its name. Whenever anyone but Ankhiale says its name, they actually have three small blocks of dots of color. Ankhiale just says "Vy" because his species doesn't have anything to do with light. Vy has a very stylized speech balloon because: Burst Species: Thunderclap Role: Communication and, if necessary, Security Description: No visible appearance. Burst is living sound, bonded to Vy, and speaks for both of them. (Neither is carrying anything, or has the insignia on them; their species never "expected" they'd need to interact with anything that didn't need sound or light, but they've coped pretty well considering) So yeah. Fully anticipating a dope-slap for asking that you draw some of this, but like I said, willing to be flexible.
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Post by Tom on Oct 25, 2009 4:03:30 GMT -5
I will have to make some minor changes to the crystalline one and Vy, but at least I have seven days off from school to design characters.
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Post by Tom on Oct 25, 2009 9:18:05 GMT -5
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Post by Haven on Nov 2, 2009 1:33:16 GMT -5
Very nice! Ankhiale especially turned out really cute, though he should have a vest or sash for pockets.
As for Vy: would that be workable if it was more like a floating ball of light, sort of like a will o wisp? Or alternatively, a living fog with lights coming from inside. If that's not drawable I can come up with something else.
(PS--sorry for the delay; it won't be that concentrated again for some time. Even my finals schedule isn't as bad as that was.)
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Post by Tom on Nov 2, 2009 1:36:15 GMT -5
I tried to draw the fog first, but it ended up looking like something a five-year old would've made.
I can make a wisp, but it'll be somewhat simplistic. Or maybe not... I'll try it out later, about to head for school now.
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Post by Tom on Nov 3, 2009 10:19:46 GMT -5
How about that wisp? It'll vary in which colour is the brightest. Haven't decided on a good chat bubble style for it yet though.
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Post by Haven on Nov 5, 2009 3:35:13 GMT -5
I like it. If it helps, Burst is supposed to be living thunder.
I've started the first draft. Here's the first copy of page one and two--I need to revise the dialogue to be less crappy, but mostly it's just doing huge infodumps so that the other three pages have a little more room to breathe. I need to revise the dialogue to be less crappy, and also think of a good "geometric pattern" for the lock. I've never done a comic script before, so tell me if I'm doin it wrong.
Page 1, panel 1: Big, scene-setting splash panel. The main focus is the tower--a long, dark blue drill-like structure, which descends into the ground and rises into the clouds. The clouds are rolling and black, and the ground is cracked and craggy--vaguely mountainous, even, except for a lack of elevation. Otherwise featureless and rather pointedly barren.
On this page is also the ship, parked to the side of the tower's door (which is not a huge proportion of the tower, but still bigger than the heroes), and the party, as very small figures (outlined by their auras), standing at its base.
Page 1, panel 2: A small bar (comparatively, like one-fifth or so of the page) at the bottom of the page, wide shot of the cast's reactions. From left to right: Jora looks up with resolute eyes, Ankhiale has one hand to his mouth, Zetramora is impassive (arms at his sides), and Vy is entirely violet. Griem is between and behind Jora and Ankhiale, currently a blend between both--Ankhiale's wide mouth and general shape, but Jora's eyes and a bit of her snout. However, the expression in Griem's eyes is fearful.
Griem: "…Wow."
Page 2: 6 panels
Page 2, Panel 1: Jora looking at the viewer (it's from Griem's PoV), with a grin.
Jora: Griem? Hey, not having second thoughts, are you, Doc?
Page 2, Panel 2: The mirror image: a shot of Griem, now shifted into Jora's form.
Griem: N-no, ma'am! It's just--aren't you even a little impressed, Jora? It's the biggest thing I've ever seen!
Page 2, Panel 3: A shot of Jora from another angle--3/4 profile, looking up at her, getting a good view of her New Edge emblem, to which she's pointing.
Jora: That's what we're here for. Don't forget how crowded the settlement's getting. The citizens of New Edge are counting on us for somewhere to live. Mr. Zetramora, can we give it to them?
Page 2, panel 4:
at "eye" level with the door's "knob", which is the which appears to be a dense geometric pattern with a multicolored light in the middle. Part of Zetramora's head is visible in this shot (Vy's light reflecting), and his arms have separated into a dozen or so segments, which are interfacing with the geometric pattern.
Zetramora: I am successfully interwoven. The Weave here is strong, but pliable. (Violet)(Green)(Red), your assistance?
Page 2, Panel 5:
Straight shot of Vy, who is attempting to match the pattern of the light (though this panel is, like, half-nifty-word-balloon. But that balloon is its own character, so yeah.)
Burst: Yeah, yeah, the big ball of light's picking' the lock. Says to twist the twelfth one 32 degrees left to match the next spectra, he does. I swear, one-in-the-universe symbiosis of living light and living sound, but all I'm doin' is talkin' for the lousy clouda photons.
Page 2, Panel 6 Shot of Jora, standing to the side of them, posing a little more.
Jora: Burst, we're praying we won't need you to do anything else. Ankhiale, got a good look in there? We expecting any company?
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Post by Tom on Nov 10, 2009 10:02:40 GMT -5
I've been quite busy lately, but I'll soon have a great deal of time on my hands. That is when I'll complete these pages, but if you want you could post the rest of the script for about another two-three pages or so and I'll get right to them as well.
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Post by Haven on Nov 14, 2009 18:53:51 GMT -5
Alright. I'm finishing the rest of the first five pages and will post them in a thread on Work Discussion.
Oh, and I just realized there was one thing I don't think I've specified: the ship's appearance. It should look like a long canoe--one large enough that the entire crew could sit in it and be only slightly cramped--with a small nozzle (currently pointing down, but adjustable--sort of a VTOL thing) on each side, and the emblem painted on one side. It should be hovering in the air, and tied to one of the rock outcroppings.
(This might come up later in the story proper, but it wasn't a very long journey; the way the tower was discovered in the first place is that, when the mists shifted the right way, the entire settlement was able to see it with the naked eye...well, not Ankhiale or anyone else of his species, and probably not Burst either, but otherwise. So, yep, just a canoe with some nozzles on it.)
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